Admittedly, it's Brimming with Gibberish, Extreme Hosting and Psychobabble. But I Do Adore Meghan's Christmas Special.
No concerned with the time of year, it's always fair game for criticism on the Duchess of Sussex's televisual offering, With Love, Meghan. Commentators, expert and amateur alike, have seldom found such common ground as when eagerly tearing the program's earlier episodes to pieces. The general consensus was that a greater royal outrage had seldom occurred than the now-infamous pretzel re-packaging incident.
Currently, in the spirit of a holiday maverick, she is back with a new offering with a "Festive Special" (or a holiday episode). However on this occasion, the dynamic has changed. The usual elements we've come to expect – vague self-help platitudes, overzealous entertaining – remain, but framed of a holiday show, it all clicks into place. The puzzle has come perfectly; it's a perfect snow storm.
Now, Meghan is like the eccentric aunt at the typical holiday get-together – offering random tips, and delivering the occasional strange exclamation. ("I love spinach!" … "A tradition has to have a beginning." … "A tree is part of my memory and love of the holiday season.") She's an interesting figure, but her company is customary and strangely comforting. And she looks happy enough; she's not doing any harm.
She is aware her each tiny facial movement, word and glance will be dissected and scrutinized, but nonetheless looks relaxed and serenely untroubled.
It could be this is the first occasion in history where that well-worn saying – "Ignore them, they're just jealous" – could actually be true. Because, let's face it, everything in Meghan's Holiday Celebration truly is lovely. Yes, it's all cringily ultra-extra, nonsense and extravagant – but is that not precisely what Christmas is for? And the advice she gives might be laughable, but the example she sets seems authentically shop-bought.
Whatever she sets her mind to, she accomplishes with panache. Her cooking looks scrumptious, the festive decoration she crafts is breathtaking, her presents are almost too pretty to open. Nothing is ordinary or ugly – even the way she secures her apron is creative and fashionable. She doesn't toss a meal in the microwave, it "has a moment", and she creases wrapping paper like an paper-folding expert. She also seems to be genuinely relishing herself throughout. How could any cynical observer not be charmed, overcome by seasonal cheer and left with a deep longing for personalized Christmas crackers or a vegetable display where broccoli is organized in the shape of a festive circle?
Meghan was once an actress for a living, obviously, but nonetheless, after the level of scrutiny she has endured since she became involved with Prince Harry, a theoretical combination of Meryl Streep and Judi Dench would struggle to act this naturally. Her decision to modify or even moderate her shtick, regardless of it being so constantly, widely parodied, is strangely reassuring. In our unpredictable world, here is something we can rely on: Meghan will remain herself, come what may. We will forever know where we are with her.
If you're remaining skeptical of what she's selling, a reminder that will undoubtedly come as a comfort: you aren't required to. The UK has abolished mandatory conscription in this country, and should it be reinstated, it would be unlikely to include watching With Love, Meghan: Holiday Celebration. If, conversely, you decide to tune in and are consumed by envy about her picture-perfect Christmas, you can take solace either. Be you a duchess or a everyday person, no kid completely grasps the effort and hard work their mum puts in in December. So you can console yourself by imagining Archie and Lilibet's faces when they reveal a beautifully scripted letter that says, 'I love you because you are brave,' from a handcrafted holiday countdown, in place of a candy.